


DAIRY KINGS™

by bakagayama



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Everyone is salty, Excessive Swearing, M/M, Memes, Rarepair, Second gen captains, Vines, Yahashira, chatfic, futakuchi has a big fat crush on terushima, hbd shirabu, help akaashi, teru is smart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-02 06:35:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14538789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bakagayama/pseuds/bakagayama
Summary: terushiba: yeah, when we’re not playing volleyball we’re driving tractors and screaming YALL at the top of our lungs at roosters who dare cluck at usshirabuttplug: i hate thismoist squish: shirabu, y’all’d’ven’t done that, you’re disrespecting father farmer ushijimashirabuttplug: what the fuck is y’all’d’ven’tchikarasuno: obviously it’s you all should have notchikarasuno: shirabu i’m disappointed in your lack of knowledge in stereotypical country lingoshirabuttplug: what the fuck





	1. the beginning

**Author's Note:**

> terushiba: wait  
> terushiba: YAHABA HOW DO YOU LAUGH  
> terushiba: IS IT LIKE  
> terushiba: YAHAHAHAHA

**terushiba** added **chikarasuno** , **moist squish** , and **yahababe** to the chat.  
terushiba named the chat **LIT AF CAPTAINS \\( ~w~)/**

  
**moist squish** : what the fucking hell

  
**chikarasuno** : language smh

  
**terushiba** : yeah no swearing on my christian minecraft server :(

  
 **moist squish** : oh sorry

  
**moist squish** : what the fucking heck*

  
**chikarasuno** : fuckin blockedt.

  
**terushiba** : niCE bLOcK

  
**yahababe** : wait who's moist squish

  
**moist** **squish** : henlo im futakuchi kenji

  
**yahababe** : whomst

  
**moist squish** : captain and ace of date tech

  
**yahababe** : what is a date tech

  
**moist squish** : ...

  
 **moist squish** : go go lets go let's go dateko

  
**yahababe** : OH THAT SCHOOL

  
**terushiba** : yahaba wtf lmao didn't yall win against dateko in the spring quarter finals last year

  
**yahababe** : oh oops

  
**yahababe** : i don't remember teams that lose to us sorry :)

  
**terushiba** : ohhhh goddamn

  
**moist** **squish** : it's fine

  
**moist** **squish** : i don't remember any benchwarmers anyway :))

  
**terushiba** : OHHHH GODDAMN

  
**yahababe** : square the fuck up futanari :)))

  
**chikarasuno** : now now

  
**moist** **squish** : meet me in the fucking pits yahabitch :))))

  
**chikarasuno** : I give up

  
**terushiba** changed **yahababe's** name to **yahabitch**

  
**yahabitch** : fuck you

  
**terushiba** : id fuck me too ;)

  
**yahabitch** : disgusting

 

* * *

  
**moist** **squish** : wait

  
**moist squish** : so did no one actually question why terushima added us to this chat

  
**yahabitch** : prolly bc he wanted to either meme or be a royal pain in the ass

  
**terushiba** : choosing to ignore that :)

  
**terushiba** : daishou thought it was a good idea because last year the captains had a group chat as well and it helped with planning practice matches !!

  
**yahabitch** : whoa terushima being responsible for once

  
**terushiba** : excuse u im responsible

  
**chikarasuno** : sure, jan

  
**terushiba** : im in class 7

  
**yahabitch** : what the fuck

  
**yahabitch** : i refuse to accept that terushima's smarter than everyone in this chat

  
**moist** **squish** : wait whos daishou

  
**terushiba** : why? is someone jealous? ;)

  
**terushiba** : don't worry futagucci, you're still #1 in my heart <333

  
**moist** **squish** : binch pls

  
**moist** **squish** : ...

  
**moist** **squish** : <3

  
 **yahabitch** : whipped

  
**chikarasuno** : daishou is nohebi's old captain

  
**chikarasuno** : but how does terushima know him? isn't he in Tokyo

  
**terushiba** : oh i know him very well ;)

  
**terushiba** : you could say i know him inside out ;)

  
**yahabitch** : disgusting

  
━━━━━━━

  
**chikarasuno** : so are we going to add other captains?

  
**terushiba** : ye but i don't have their skypes lmao

  
**chikarasuno** : oh, i have shiratorizawa's captain's skype, i'll add him

  
**chikarasuno** added **shirabye** to **LIT AF CAPTAINS \\(~w~)/**

  
 **yahabitch:** NO DONT ADD SHIRABU I HATE HIS GUTS AND HIS HORRIBLE ASYMMETRICAL HAIRCUT

  
**yahabitch** : FCUK

  
**moist** **squish** : fcuk

  
**yahabitch** : hey futakuchi here's a suggestion

  
**yahabitch** : how about you shut your fcuk

  
**ennoshita** : roflmao quote of the century

  
**shirabye** : ...

  
**shirabye** : who the hell are you people

  
**terushiba** : i'm terushima yuuji, captain of johzenji high ;)

  
**moist squish** : futakuchi kenji from date tech

  
**shirabye** : um, who?

  
**shirabye** : sorry, all the teams that lost to shiratorizawa are kinda irrelevant to me

  
**moist squish** : wtf didn't yahaba say something similar to that

  
**shirabye** : what the fuck is a yahaba

  
**terushiba** : OH M YGOD

  
**moist squish** : GET REKT

  
**yahabitch** : wow

  
**yahabitch** : that

  
**yahabitch** : was

  
**yahabitch** : hilarious

  
**yahabitch** : i'm laughing

  
**yahabitch** : :)

  
**terushiba** : wait

 **terushiba** : WAIT

  
**terushiba** : YAHABA HOW DO U LAUGH

  
**terushiba** : IS IT LIKE

  
**terushiba** : YAHAHAHAHA

  
**shirabye** changed **yahabitch's** name to **YAHAHAHAHA**.

  
**YAHAHAHAHA** : wow okay fuck u

  
**YAHAHAHAHA** changed **shirabye's** name to **shiraboob**.

  
**shiraboob** : thank you

 **shiraboob** : and by thank you i mean fuck you

  
**shiraboob** changed **YAHAHAHAHA's** name to **yahababy**.

  
**yahababy** changed **shiraboob's** name to **shiraboohoo**.

  
**moist** **squish** : ayyy lmao now u guys match

  
**terushiba** : did we just witness a lover's quarrel

  
**chikarasuno** : more like a tiny nickname war

  
**chikarasuno** : still cute though

  
**chikarasuno** : WAIT

  
**chikarasuno** : THIS COULD BE THE PLOT FOR MY NEXT MOVIE

  
**yahababy** : wtf

  
**shiraboohoo** : wtf

  
**yahababy** : stop fucking copying me

  
**shiraboohoo** : don't tell me what to do

  
**chikarasuno** : IMAGINE

  
**chikarasuno** : STAR CROSSED LOVERS FROM RIVAL SCHOOLS STRUGGLING TO STAY TOGETHER AS THEIR TEAMS SLOWLY PULL THEM AWAY FROM EACH OTHER

  
**terushiba** : ennoshita fanboying over his movie is honestly the cutest thing ever

  
**moist squish** : reblog if excited ennoshita is ur aesthetic

  
**yahababy** : are you guys even LISTENING

 

* * *

 

  
**chikarasuno** added **owl** **mom** and **toradora** to the chat.

  
**toradora** : LIT ANOTHER GROUP CHAT

  
**terushiba** : i like you already

  
**toradora** : HELL YEAH

  
**chikarasuno** : taketora, terushima is the one tanaka warned you about

  
**toradora** : YOU

  
**toradora** : YOUR THE ONE WHO HARASSED KIYOKO-SAN

  
**shiraboohoo** : you're*

  
**yahababy** : nobody gives a flying fuck shitabu

  
**shiraboohoo** : shut the hell up bastard

  
**shiraboohoo** : yahabastard

  
**yahababy** : make me, shirabuttplug

  
**moist** **squish** : SH IRA BUTTPL U G

  
**yahababy** changed **shiraboohoo's** name to **shirabuttplug**.

  
**shirabuttplug** : fuck you shitgeru

  
**yahababy** : first name basis now, huh, kenjirage? :)

  
**shirabuttplug** : go die

  
**chikarasuno** : i can't tell if they're about to strangle each other or about to make out

  
**moist squish** : maybe both ;)

  
**terushiba** : kinky ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  
**owl mom** : ...

  
**owl mom** : Chikara, what is this?

  
 **chikarasuno** : pain and suffering

  
**shirabuttplug** : constant mood

 

 **owl mom** : ...Who are these people?

 

 **terushiba** : the dairy queens \\(^w^)/

 

 **owl mom** : But why?

 

 **terushiba** : if you wanted a soft serve

 

 **moist squish** : you shouldve gone to dairy queen

 

 **terushiba** : volleyball is not a joke

 

 **yahababy** : did you guys rehearse that wtf

 

 **owl mom** : But if we're the dairy queens doesn't that mean we serve softly? That we take volleyball as a joke?

 

 **terushiba** : oh shit u right

 

 **terushiba** : what are we then?

 

~~**moist squish** : a couple~~

 

 **terushiba** : what

 

 **moist squish** : oops autocorrect haha

 

 **terushiba** : i know !!!!

 

 **terushiba** : we can be the dairy KINGS !!!

 

 **terushiba** changed the chat name to **DAIRY KINGS™**

 

 **terushiba** : ALRIGHT LISTEN UP DAIRY KINGS

 

 **terushiba** : LETS INTRODUCE OURSELVES 

 

 **shirabuttplug** : dont fuckin tell me what to do

 

 **terushiba** : my name is terushima yuuji and i'm from johzenji !!!

 

 **yahababy** : henlo i am futakuchi kenji and i am a giant douchebag

  
**yahababy** : jk its yahaba shigeru from aoba johsai

 

 **moist squish** : i am the actual futakuchi kenji from date tech

  
**moist squish** :  and excuse you im a fucking delight

  
 **chikarasuno** : sounds fake but okay

  
**shirabuttplug** : sounds fake but okay

  
**yahababy** : stupid shirabu always copyig everyone

  
**moist squish** : copyig

  
**yahababy** : stfu

  
**shirabuttplug** : at least i can fuckin spell

  
**owl mom** : ...

  
**chikarasuno** : welcome to hell akaashi


	2. y’all’d’ven’t

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shirabuttplug: wtf that space in between the smiley personally attacked me
> 
> shirabuttplug: YOU DO :) or :-) WHAT THE FUCK IS : )

DAIRY KINGS™

2:10 A.M

 

terushiba: hey quick question

moist squish: 69 cents

terushiba: if you had to pick a vine to describe you what would it be?

terushiba: OMG BRO ITS LIKE U READ MY MIND

moist squish: BROOOO

terushiba: BROOOOO

owl mom: no no no no no no no

owl mom: no

owl mom: I cannot go through this again

owl mom: its like bokuto and kuroo 2.0

moist squish: omg is akaashi okay

owl mom: I’m not okay (I promise)

terushiba: did akaashi just quote mcr im-

owl mom: owlmom.exe has stopped working.

terushiba: DID AKAASHI JUST MEME

terushiba: TIS TRULY A BLESSED DAY

shirabuttplug: i heard vine and i came

chikarasuno: wow i didnt know u had a vine kink shirabu eww

shirabuttplug: you know that’s not what I meant

shirabuttplug: and smh stop kinkshaming

chikarasuno: but kinkshaming is my kink

shirabuttpug: well you got me there

shirabuttplug: but anyway, if I had to pick a vine

shirabuttplug: probably “fuck off janet I’m not going to your fuckin baby shower”

chikarasuno: i can totally see that.

owl mom: my life is constantly playing “honey you’ve got a big storm comin” on repeat

terushiba: hmm mine would be

terushiba: i got my hat on backwards and its time to fuckin party !!

moist squish: amen

moist squish: wbu @toradora

toradora: if you put freakin hand on me imma freakin rip your face off binch

toradora: and by me i actually mean kiyoko-san

shirabuttplug: did u actually just censor that whole vine

shirabuttplug: i did not expect yamamoto to be so pure

shirabuttplug: i thought he was one of us

toradora: :( i want to be a dairy king

moist squish: then s a y  i t

shirabuttplug: say ittt

terushiba: ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US

chikarasuno: stfu it’s 2 am you’re making us sound like a cult

shirabuttplug: isn’t that what we are?

chikarasuno: ...well you got me there.

chikarasuno: say it, yamamoto. just to make them stop

toradora: say what?

moist squish: you know

moist squish: the f word

toradora: uh

toradora: fine

toradora: FRICK !!!!

terushiba: HAHAHAHAHAHA

terushiba: IF YAHABA WERE HERE HE WOULD BE SCREAMING YAHAHAHAHAHA

shirabuttplug: ROFLMAO

toradora: ??? why are you laughing : (

owl mom: For God’s sake, yamamoto, they want you to say fuck.

toradora: oh

owl mom: Realization in

owl mom: 3

owl mom: 2

owl mom: 1

toradora: OH

toradora: frick all of you guys!! im not gonna say it u bullies

terushiba: aww cmon bro we were just teasing you a bit : (

toradora: IM NOT YOUR BRO

toradora: YOU HARASSED KIYOKO-SAN

terushiba: well,,, you’re not wrong

terushiba: but i apologized after !!

toradora: you did? tanaka never told me that

terushiba: yeah actually. i flirted with her because i didn’t know how else to react when i see someone pretty or handsome ,,, it’s kind of hard for me to act myself in front of new people,,, its kind of like an instinct you know? but i felt super bad after chibi-chan had to intervene so i apologized after the match

toradora: BRO

toradora: THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL

toradora: WE’RE BROS NOW BRO

terushiba: AYY BRO

owl mom: I’m having war flashbacks.

shirabuttplug: hold up

shirabuttplug: terushima

shirabuttplug: pretty or handsome?

terushiba: uh yeah

terushiba: bc im pan yknow?

moist squish: valid

shirabuttplug: oh

shirabuttplug: i didn’t know there were members of the LGBTQ+ community here

terushiba: why?? youre not homophobic right??

shirabuttplug: no no i just...didn’t think there was anyone else…

shirabuttplug: um. i’m gay.

moist squish: that’s valid, i’m bi

owl mom: ace

moist squish: valid

chikarasuno: i’m bi

moist squish: v a l i d

toradora: i’m straight

moist squish: that’s valid too !!

shirabuttplug: what about yahaba?

chikarasuno: ? he isn’t even online why would you ask that

moist squish: ✧ම້ ˌ̫̮ ම້

shirabuttplug: ew what the fuck is that

terushiba: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

moist squish: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

terushiba: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

shirabuttplug: what

moist squish: nothing~

shirabuttplug: i’m getting some serious oikawa vibes from you and i don’t like it

yahababy: what’s this about oikawa

terushiba: OMG HAHAHAHA

chikarasuno: i didn’t think the legends were true

chikarasuno: that when one would utter the name “oikawa” yahaba would be summoned

chikarasuno: i’m adding this to my movie plot

yahababy: stfu ennoshita

terushiba: dont tell ennoshita to shut up u shut up ur ruining my aesthetic

owl mom: Your aesthetic?

terushiba: director ennoshita fanboying

owl mom: Amen to that.

moist squish: but does anyone feel like yahaba’s been here the whole time

moist squish: but just didn’t want to talk

toradora: it’s okay if you’re unsure or shy about your sexuality yahaba !

chikarasuno: p u r e

yahababy: what? no

yahababy: i literally just came here to tell you guys that it was 2:30 am and y’all need to stfu

shirabuttplug: wtf “y’all”

yahababy: stfu we’re from miyagi the countryside we’re allowed to say yall

chikarasuno: he speaks the truth

terushiba: ^

shirabuttplug: since when do you guys say y’all? ive never heard you say it in person before

moist squish: i think u mean

moist squish: since when do y’all say y’all? ive never heard y’all say it in person before*

terushiba: heard more like herd

shirabuttplug: you need to stop

moist squish: YAINT STOPPING ME

owl mom: you country folk are scary.

toradora: do you actually say y’all a lot?

terushiba: yeah, when we’re not playing volleyball we’re driving tractors and screaming YALL at the top of our lungs at roosters who dare cluck at us

toradora: really???

yahababy: wel i say y’all while shucking the corn for supper and hiking up my overalls

shirabuttplug: what, do you wear a straw hat and keep a piece of hay in your mouth too?

yahababy: darn tootin y’all know me too well

shirabuttplug: i hate this

moist squish: shirabu, y’all’d’ven’t done that, you’re disrespecting father farmer ushijima

shirabuttplug: what the fuck is y’all’d’ven’t

chikarasuno: obviously it’s you all should have not

chikarasuno: shirabu i’m disappointed in your lack of knowledge in stereotypical country lingo

shirabuttplug: what the fuck

toradora: do you guys really have farms down there???

shirabuttplug: wtf no the closest thing to a farm in our area is shiratorizawa

yahababy: ...

yahababy: did you just call yourself and your teammates barn animals

shirabuttplug: NO

shirabuttplug: ITS BECAUSE WE HAVE HORSES HERE

chikarasuno: shirabu, it’s not nice to call your teammates horses

shirabuttplug: YOU CAN ALL EAT SHIT

shirabuttplug: WE’RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT

shirabuttplug: YAHABA WHATS YOUR VINE AND YOUR SEXUALITY

owl mom: a bit bold don’t you think

yahababy: i literally have no context behind what y’all just said but i can assure y’all that y’all sound crazy

shirabuttplug: SCROLL THE FUCK UP SHITGERU

yahababy: alright alright, calm down kenjirage

yahababy: o h I see

yahababy: umm right now my vine would be...

moist squish: if it’s not “i have the power of god and anime on my side aAAA” im suing

moist squish: yahaba even looks like the kid

yahababy: shh no its

yahababy: country boyyy i love youuu mleh

yahababy: haha

yahababy: haha

terushiba: which one of us country boys though ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

moist squish: ✧ම້ ˌ̫̮ ම້

yahababy: you guys sound like makki and mattsun and I hate it

owl mom: i don’t know who those people are but welcome to my world

yahababy: and haha i was joking about the country boy thing

yahababy: j o k i n g haha

shitabuttplug: say haha one more time and i will kick you in the kneecaps

chikarasuno: yahaba something tells me you aren’t joking

yahababy: fine fine i like someone in the miyagi prefecture

yahababy: a country boy :’)

yahababy: oh and i’m bi if you couldn’t tell

shirabuttplug: i always thought you were straight tbh

shirabuttplug: the amount of girlfriends you had

yahababy: yeah well im not out to my parents yet

shirabuttplug: oh same

yahababy: hey we can suffer together : )

chikarasuno: omg look at them getting along

shirabuttplug: wtf that space in between the smiley personally attacked me

shirabuttplug: YOU DO :) or :-) WHAT THE FUCK IS : )

chikarasuno: i stand corrected

yahababy: i know you’re yelling at me rn but all I can think about is how you actually said smileys

shirabuttplug: blocked unfriended unfollowed my mom call your mom and called her a bitch you’re not invited to my teen queen sweet sixteen summer beach bash birthday party

yahababy: : (

shirabuttplug: Y’ALL’D’VEN’T DONE THAT

yahababy: or what : )

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

yahababy: HOLY SHIT GUYS HE BROKE INTO MY HOUSE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: the smiley convo actually happened bahaha  
> @minuted inspired shirabu's : ) rant


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yahababy: captains’ meetup at my house today ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з
> 
> moist squish: what the fuck 
> 
> moist squish: the notification woke me up
> 
> moist squish: yahaba why are you up so early
> 
> yahababy: oh um
> 
> yahababy: just worshipping my oikawa shrine and making sure my creampuff hair is obnoxiously perfect like usual ヽ(^◇^*)/
> 
> chikarasuno: something tells me thats not yahaba

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey quick update for yahashira day :) 6/10/18

_Creak._

Yahaba's tired eyes shot wide open after hearing the loose floorboard squeak and subsequent, soft footsteps padding across the hardwood downstairs.

 _Shit._ His blood ran cold as his brain finally registered that there was someone else in his house besides himself.

Could it be that his parents were home from their business trip a month early?

Oh, who was he kidding. Someone broke into his house and now Yahaba was going to die.

 _Well_ , the boy thought as got out of bed against his better judgement, cautiously creeping towards the stairs. _Maybe I can ask the intruder to kill me so I can finally sleep without the group chat bothering me_ , the boy thought jokingly, albeit bitterly to himself.

Once standing at the top of the steps, Yahaba rubbed his eyes tiredly and just barely made out the blurry silhouette of none other than Shirabu Kenjirou standing in his doorway through the darkness.

Now fully alert, he flipped on the light switch and winced as his vision adjusted to the sudden brightness.

"What the fuck? Shirabu?" Yahaba called out from the top of the stairs. "Why are you here?”

  
“Uh—“ Oh yes, that’s right. Shirabu didn’t even know himself why he snuck out of the dorms to trespass into Yahaba’s house.

  
It’s not like he had a sudden impulse to go see the Seijoh captain. Or anything like that.

  
“Well?”

  
_Quick, Kenjirou. Make up an excuse._

  
“I came here to fix your phone.”

  
“Fix—“ Yahaba paused to massage his temples as he could already feel a headache coming on. “—Fix my phone? Shirabu, there’s nothing fucking wrong with it. I think you need to get yourself fixed.”

  
“Um. Your phone is broken. It keeps adding the space between :).”

  
“Wait how did you do that.”

  
“What? You mean :)?”

  
“THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE IN REAL LIFE.”

  
“ >:)”

  
“SHIRABU.”

  
“Okay fine fine, I’ll stop.”

  
Seijoh’s setter sighed and inhaled slowly before opening his mouth to speak. “So let me get this straight. You trespass into my house, wake me up at ass o’clock, scare the living shit out of me, and now you break the fucking fourth wall. What the fuck is your problem?”

  
“Well, to be fair, you were already awake and chatting so it’s not like I ever woke you up.”

  
“Get out of my house.”

“Keep talking like that and I’ll stay at your place for the rest of the day.”

“Please just let me go to sleep and spend my Saturday in peace,” Yahaba pleaded.

Shirabu quirked an eyebrow at Yahaba’s desperate expression. “Jeez Shitgeru, that’s no way to treat your guest.”

“I didn’t even invite you!” Yahaba snapped, getting frustrated at Shirabu’s stubbornness, but relented anyway. “Just go back to your goddamn farm school,” he sighed exasperatedly.

“Just for that, I decided that I’m never leaving," he claimed, stretching himself across Yahaba's velvety couch.

“God fucking dammit.”

 

* * *

 **DAIRY KINGS™**  
**7:04**

  
yahababy: captains’ meetup at my house today ε٩(๑ > ₃ <)۶з

moist squish: what the fuck

moist squish: the notification woke me up

moist squish: yahaba why are you up so early

yahababy: oh um

yahababy: just worshipping my oikawa shrine and making sure my creampuff hair is obnoxiously perfect like usual ヽ(^◇^*)/

chikarasuno: something tells me thats not yahaba

moist squish: ^

yahababy: what are you guys talking about ?? of course its me, yahaba (*ﾟ▽ﾟ)ﾉ

terushiba: INCORRECT

terushiba: THE REAL YAHABA WOULD HAVE SAID YALL

chikarasuno: wth terushima did yahaba wake you up too?

moist squish: yeah... “yahaba”

terushiba: nah i was awake hours ago

terushiba: im at daishou’s house ;)

moist squish: disgusting

yahababy: disgusting

chikarasuno: … maybe it is yahaba after all

terushiba: well there’s only one way to find out

terushiba: say ittt

moist squish: ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US

yahababy: say what? (˚▽˚?)

terushiba: only the holiest word in existence

yahababy: uhh

yahababy: oikawa?

shirabuttplug: what’s this about oikawa

yahababy: WTF

moist squish: LMAO SHITS BOUT TO GO DOWN

shirabuttplug: sorry my oikawa senses tingled and i grabbed the nearest phone

shirabuttplug: this is yahaba

yahababy: no i’m yahaba

yahababy: yall better believe me

moist squish: HOLY SHIT HE SAID IT

terushiba: IT REALLY IS YAHABA

shirabuttplug: what? no i am

shirabuttplug: here i can prove it

chikarasuno: how?

shirabuttplug: ushijima sucks

yahababy: YOU TAKE THAT BACK

yahababy: …

yahababy: FUCK

~~~~~

chikarasuno: okay, so now that you guys switched back to normal, can you tell us about the captains meet up?

moist squish: and why shirabu kept sending emoticons?

  
terushiba: and why he was at yahabas house so early ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  
yahababy: 1. like I said before

yahababy: “HOLY SHIT GUYS HE BROKE INTO MY HOUSE”

  
terushiba: sounds like an early morning booty call to me ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  
yahababy: n o

  
yahababy: moving on

  
moist squish: how do you have so many emoticons saved?

shirabuttplug: ikr yahabitch had a whole keyboard of them

shirabuttplug: what, did you go through an oikawa phase?

yahababy: ...

yahababy: you’re not,,, wrong ,,,

chikarasuno: i think he’s still in his oikawa phase

yahababy: go choke

terushiba: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

toradora: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

owl mom: yamamoto n o don’t copy terushima

chikarasuno: yamamoto where did you come from

toradora: my mom said a stork brought me

moist squish: someone as pure as yamamoto should not be using the lenny face smh

toradora: what’s a lenny face?

terushiba: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

moist squish: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

toradora: what? did i say something wrong?

owl mom: end me please

chikarasuno: ^

shirabuttplug: ^

yahababy: 3.

yahababy: wait bacc the hecc up

yahababy: what captains meetup?

shirabuttplug: i would answer you but your spelling personally attacked me

chikarasuno: oh god not this again

shirabuttplug: who says bacc and hecc that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen

terushiba: hey futakuchi

terushiba: ur a  t h i c c  s n a c c ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

moist squish: why thank you bro

moist squish: how about i s u c c you off ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

yahababy: disgusting

owl mom: this chat is a train wreck.

toradora: wrecc

terushiba: YAMAMOTO MY BRO

toradora: AYYYY

moist squish: wrecc that ass ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

chikarasuno: i am suffering pls stop

yahababy: but fr what captains meet up

shirabuttplug: why, the one at your house of course

yahababy: what

shirabuttplug: the one taking place in like an hour?

yahababy: WHAT

yahababy: I NEVER AGREED TO THIS

shirabuttplug: [image attached]

yahababy: THAT WAS YOU JSKSKSKD

shirabuttplug: it’s funny

shirabuttplug: i can hear his screaming from downstairs

yahababy: I’M GOING TO MURDER YOU

shirabuttplug: hah nice try i wanted death anyway

yahababy: IM GOING TO CUT YOUR HAIR

shirabuttplug: YOU WOULDNT DARE

yahababy: TRY ME BITCH

[yahababy and shirabuttplug went offline]

chikarasuno: sigh

chikarasuno: ill bring the first aid kit.  



End file.
